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pkRx: know that being single this season doesn’t have to suck

- ellie, 11/19/2010

Being single during the holidays does NOT have to suck.  Take it from a girl who’s been there and done it all wrong. Sure, you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself and miss out on all the holiday parties (done that). You can cry when your family asks why you didn’t bring a boyfriend home for Thanksgiving (done that). Or, you can decide to take the season by storm in a smart, sensible and sassy way.

Here are 5 helpful tips from the pk girls:

1. Wear a thinking cap with your party dress. Don’t go anywhere trying to bump into your ex… and stay away from “couples parties” that just make you feel like crap. It’s ok to say no and stick to the fetes where you know you’ll have fun. Better yet: throw a holiday party of your own, and only invite single people – no couples allowed.  Or, invite couples, but tell them you’ll only let them in if they bring a single friend.  Male or female doesn’t matter – it’s about watering down the sea of “we”s.

2. Hit the holiday circuit with other single friends. Every girl needs a support system, and if you take a look around, you might realize you can be someone else’s as well.  Find a single friend and hit your office parties in tandem, and if you’re in the same town, get together for brunch on Christmas morning before (or even instead of) spending time with family.

3. Speak up for yourself. If you have an obnoxious family member (or a slew of them) who refuses to stop talking incessantly about your single status, calmly remind them that it’s better to be happy by yourself than miserable in the wrong relationship.  Stick up for yourself.  Tell them if they really love you, they’ll stop bugging you about finding “the one” and start realizing how strong and incredible you are on your own.  Here’s their dirty little secret underneath all the jabs: as happy as they might seem on the outside, they might actually be a little envious of your freedom.

4. Nevermind the mistletoe. Especially if you’re newly single, this is an awesome time to focus on yourself. Don’t go on a hunt for a holiday mate because of weird social pressure that makes no sense. Go on a hunt for self-fulfillment instead.  Hit the gym to bump up your endorphins, work out your holiday stress and give yourself a physical boost.  Take full advantage of holiday sales and buy yourself something that makes you feel gorgeous.  If you’re taking time off of work, dive headfirst into that novel you’ve been wanting to write, that trip you’ve wanted to take or do whatever else you’ve been putting off.  Do it now, as a holiday gift to yourself.

5. Be Santa Claus. Yes, your problems are real.  Yes, your sadness is understandable if you’ve just broken up with someone.  But no matter how much despair you might be in or how “blah” you may be feeling, somebody out there has it worse than you, and they could use a helping hand from someone who’s capable of empathy.  Got some extra cash?  Buy a few toys and take them to a toys for tots organization.  Even better: donate your time to a non-profit organization (Meals on Wheels, Salvation Army) that needs extra hands during the holiday season.  No plans on Christmas Day?  Volunteer at a soup kitchen.  And don’t just say you’ll do it… actually do it.  The reward is in the act itself, and perspective is a gift you can’t just buy in a store.

pk2u,

ellie

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