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+--- Forum: survivor stories (/forumdisplay.php?fid=2)
+--- Thread: Yep. Got through to the other side. (/showthread.php?tid=116)
Yep. Got through to the other side. - Sparklefox - 05-10-2012 08:34 PM
So this is where you post your survival stories. My breakup was in February. It's now May. I'd always equated "Getting over it" or "Getting over him" with finding a new boyfriend...but now I realise...I am OVER it, and I'm single, and LOVING it! WHoo hoo! And it's only been 4 months! We had been together 4 years. The first few weeks, I was like someone with post traumatic shock. I had TOTALLY lost my mojo, my hope, my joy in life and my positivity. Now it's all back. Here's what I did:
I asked questions on the PK forum.
I followed the no-contact rule. That was HARD! I blocked him on facebook, so I wasn't checking his page 100000x a day.
He's still blocked, btw, because I sent him a message saying
"I am blocking you, not because I hate you, but I think it is easier for both of us if we don't have online contact. Maybe in 6months or a year, we can get coffee and give each other dating advice, but until then, if I need to contact you online, it will be via email"
I didn't call or contact him in any way after that message.
I gave back ALL of his stuff.
I wrote down all my memories of him, both positive and negative, all the stuff that happened, all the sad stuff etc on a piece of paper...and burnt it in the shower and had a big big cry. That felt better.
I wanted to sign up for the Betty Plan, but I'm not from America, so I devised my own. I got a heap of little slips of paper, wrote down all kinds of actions on the, put them in a jar and pulled out one every morning. They said little inspirational quotes and things to do that day, like "Get your nails done" or "compliment a stranger". They gave me something to focus on. A task for every day.
I did all the s**t that scared me: moving house, going out, changing my hair, new tattoo, going to the kind of music gigs I like, making lists of all the stuff I want to do before I die, and slowly but surely working through it.
I met other people, had a few brief flings, nothing serious. Fell in and out of love a few times with new people, opened my eyes and mind to new ideas and philosophy.
I read a lot of blogs. Like PK. Gala Darling and Chelsea Talks Smack. Just anything to inspire me.
Anyway, that's my story.
RE: Yep. Got through to the other side. - kwalk - 05-14-2012 08:09 AM
I LOVE hearing stories like this! They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside haha. Seriously, this is awesome. And as I was reading this I thought, why don't we all treat ourselves this well ALL the time?? Not just after a breakup. We deserve to be gentle with ourselves and put our needs first every single day.
I love the idea of the little slips of paper in a jar with positive "tasks" for each day. I'm not going through a breakup now, but I want to try that out myself -- just as a way to inspire me each day!
Keep being freaking awesome and loving life!
RE: Yep. Got through to the other side. - juju84 - 12-18-2012 05:35 AM
Love to hear that other people survive, I am 2 weeks in and it feels like the longest 2 weeks of my life... they say time flies when you're having fun... the opposite is definitely true... time stops when you're heartbroken.
Felt excited to hear your enthusiasm...I hope that I too feel happy within a few months too!! thanks for sharing