So I am invited to a wedding of a friend and my ex is his best man. My ex and I stopped talking about 3 months ago and of course I was really upset in the beginning but for the past 2 weeks, I've been fine. I've been happy, not really giving him much thought, started moving on and doing my own thing. (Don't get me wrong, he pops into my head at random times but it doesn't make me cry or upset me or hurt my heart like it used to). Getting back to my story, I was on my friend's wedding website and I learned that the maid of honor is a girl that I once thought liked my ex (when I was with him). Before my ex and I broke up, I saw a picture of them together in a group shot from a night that my ex went out and I didn't. I asked him about it and he said they danced a little that night (but just as friends) but it was nothing and that nothing else happened. I kinda got angry but let it go and she was never brought up in our relationship again. And now, it's bugging me all over again. I think I am annoyed because I know they will be spending a lot of time together because of the wedding and now I have no right to even ask him about her. I guess maybe I'm jealous? But of what though? I can't tell what I'm feeling. The moment I saw her name as his partner in the wedding, I had this burning pain in my heart for a few seconds and this annoying feeling overcame me. Why do I even care? Should I go to the wedding? Am I just going to feel miserable inside when I see them walking down the aisle together at my friend's wedding? Help please. I really felt like I was over him and I was happy and this happens. I feel stupid :/

First of all, you have absolutely no reason to feel stupid. This is clearly a very confusing situation, and if I were you, I would feel just as annoyed by this intrusion to my healing process. My first question is, how soon is the wedding? And secondly, how close of friends are you with the groom? If the wedding isn't for several months and you're extremely good friends with everyone in the wedding party, then don't let your ex and this girl discourage you from celebrating with people you care about. But (and I suspect this is the case, but correct me if I'm wrong), if the wedding is coming up soon AND you're mostly friends with the groom just because he was your ex's best friend, then I don't think it's worth setting yourself back in your healing process just to attend the wedding of your ex's friends.

The way you're feeling reminds me of how upset I was when my ex started dating a new girl and I was still miserable and single. And if I'd had the choice, I would NOT have put myself in a situation where all I was doing was watching them together and feeling dead inside. That just sounds like torture. So if it wouldn't be extremely offensive to the bride and/or groom for you to skip the wedding for your own mental sanity's sake, I say do what's going to help YOU most right now.

I actually met the groom before I ever met my boyfriend. The wedding is in June. I want to go but I am already annoyed. I know that feeling will die down soon but I'm afraid when I actually see my ex at the wedding, I might feel that way again. I can't believe I am already annoyed just because she is going to be his partner in the wedding (that's why I feel stupid). It might not even affect me by June but should I risk it? Or am I going to feel 10 times worse hen I see them in person? Do I want to spend a whole evening watching him dance with girls and be happy? Lol I sound like such a cold bitch.

First of all you don't sound like a cold bitch at all....it sounds like you were on a good path and this situation just threw you for a curve ball. I agree with kwalk I think it depends on how close you are with the groom and whether or not you will regret missing this wedding. Although, I would be willing to bet that years from now it's not going to bother you if you decide to skip out on wedding.Ultimately, you have to think about your health, welfare and healing process and do what is best for YOU. I think weddings are tough in general, particularly if you KNOW you will see your ex and you don't have a new awesome boyfriend to take with you by that point. It sounds like knowing you will see your ex is going to do you more harm than good (which by the way is generally true for all of us) and I vote that you send a gift and skip out on the heartache that would most likely come from attending a wedding where you will have to see your ex. It just isn't worth the possible back sliding it may cause you on your journey to be a bombshell!

This sounds like an awful situation to be in. See how you feel closer to the date. It guess it depends when you have to get rsvp sent in by. You could try keeping in mind that the bride and groom picked his partner (the girl)--not him. You could also try and remember that seeing your ex dancing with other girls and having fun is one thing....but YOU are also allowed to have a good time! You are allowed to dance with other men, or girl friends and have fun! You could try having a friend or relative who is going to be there with you, and distract you from looking at him. Someone you can boogie with on the dance floor and talk to you in the toilets if you get teary. A "wing-woman", if you will. If you do go to the wedding, you could ask the organisers to make sure you are sitting on different tables. That way you can absorb yourself in conversation with the "fascinating" man/elderly lady/15 year old girl next to you and ignore the ex.

There is nothing wrong with not going, it's perfectly understandable, just come up with a good excuse--even "unable to attend" will do and send a gift and card.

But if you do decide to go, make sure you go with the intention of having a good time whatever your ex gets up to. Say "Hi, how are you?" if you bump into each other, be polite, but don't get hung up on him. Treat him with no more special treatment than you would treat a vague aquaintance that you met once. Concentrate on doing what YOU want all night. Talk to the people you want to talk to. Dabce with the people you want to dance with. Eat the food you want to eat, flirt with the cute guys, wear what you want to wear and enjoy being single.