I don’t know what to do…
I was with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years. It just ended. 3 years ago I found out he was cheating on me for almost the whole year. He blamed me for the most part and said he did it because we were fighting so much and he was unhappy with how I treated him. After a few months I gave him the benefit of the doubt and forgave him when he kept coming back. A year later we moved in together. The whole time he was hardly home, giving me crap about everything, saying he doesn’t know if he wanted to be with me or not. A months in he started saying he didn’t want to get married or have kids. Then when I asked if he wanted to even be with me, he kept saying “I don’t know.” Eventually he said when the lease is up we should go our separate ways. I told him to leave now but he wouldn’t because he “didn’t want to abandon me with all the bills”. One day I found him drunk, texting somebody over and over again at 3am. When he passed out I went through his phone to find he was texting a few girls and had TONS of naked pictures of girls on his phone!!! I kicked him out!
He took most of his stuff but kept leaving the rest saying he couldn’t get a truck to take it all. I knew it was an excuse. A few months later he tried coming back, and would stay at the apt, but we slept in separate rooms (he said he didn’t have anywhere to go). One day a friend of mine, who has liked me for years, text me to come over at 1 in the morning. My ex read the text, flipped out and moved out that day! He then came back that next night and trashed some of my stuff, called me a million names and cussed me out, then left. This was last December.
He kept calling me here and there, saying he loves me, then to cuss me out. He asked to see my phone bill to prove that I wasn’t cheating on him, and when I asked to see HIS phone bill in return, he turned it around and said, “forget it, it doesn’t prove anything!” A few days ago, he confronted my friend (for the second time) and supposedly he told him I was the one calling him to hang out and it was ALL me, so my ex beat him to a pulp! He called me after cussing me out and I told him to stay away from me. Now this morning he calls me saying he needs closure and needs me to answer some questions and wants to see my bill.
I can’t believe him! After the way he’s been treating me, how the hell does he think he has the right to anything from me? I want him to leave me the hell alone and never contact me again!

Please, please, PLEASE cut this guy out of your life. He is a cheater and a liar, and clearly he has a violent streak if he is beating people up. He legitimately sounds mentally unstable to me. If he has already moved out, do NOT let him stay at your apartment anymore. Do not answer his texts or calls. Do not give him any attention whatsoever. You owe him nothing, and he has done nothing but treat you with disrespect. And I'm really worried that it's affecting your OWN level of self-respect. You deserve so, SO much more than this, and I'm worried that you can't see that right now.

I'd like you to read your letter again, except this time, pretend it's your best friend telling you this story. My guess is that you'd tell your friend to run far, far away from this guy. So please take that advice to heart. This guy brings nothing positive to your life -- in fact, he brings mass amounts of stress and negativity. This is YOUR ONLY LIFE -- do not let this man make it miserable.

Thank you, Kwalk! I really appreciate your input!!
He has already moved out completely. After I wrote here, I received a text from him saying I was pathetic, a liar and I have no class. Saying he was falling in love with me again" but now the "truth" came out and he thought I would at least "try to prove him wrong" before telling him to F-off but I'm a liar and I "can't even look in the mirror without seeing a troubled, broken liar for a woman" and that he feels sorry for me.
Seriously! I didn't even respond, I blocked his number and I even blocked him on facebook so that he couldn't find me.

You’re so right, I don’t owe him anything! He has never once tried “proving” anything to me, never once tried working things out with me. And when I asked him about the girls on his phone, he said he met them online WHILE we were living together, but “never met them in person” Oh, so that’s okay? Same goes with the first girl he cheated on me with. I just can’t believe how someone can do so many things to a person and think it’s OK, but the minute he thinks I’m doing the same thing, he thinks he has the right to beat people up, demand anything he wants from me, and call me names and put me down (whore, tramp, bitch, etc) He's that much of a manipulator that he turns everything on me and plays the victim.
I definitely would tell my best friend to never speak to this guy again, and I plan on doing just that. I’m finished and I don’t want anything to do with him, ever again.

I'm so glad you're at the point where you don't want anything to do with this guy. I think you will find it very empowering to ignore his attempts to contact you and to regain your independence without him in your life. You sound like a smart, confident woman who knows better than to accept his immature behavior. I personally wouldn't treat an enemy the way he's treated you in the past -- much less someone I claimed to love!

If you're ever feeling low and tempted to contact him, please come here to Bettyville or email me at kwalk1217@gmail.com -- I promise I'll be here to talk you out of it and remind you that you're worth so much more!