I went through a break up a few months ago and at first it was hard. I would cry all the time, couldn't sleep, didn't want to hang out with my friends or go out, just wanted to stay in bed all the time and so on. Then all of a sudden one day I woke up and felt so much better. Of course I would have my sad moments but overall I was in a good space and hung out with many of my old friends, went to a lot of fun places, made new friends, did a lot of new things and I was feeling good about everything the majority of the time.

Recently, I found out through a mutual friend that my ex is talking to/dating a girl that we both know. It really bothered me when I found out. I remember before my ex and I started dating one of his friends wanted them to date and become a couple but my ex ended up liking me and dating me. My ex told me that info and was always sensitive to my feelings and never hung out with her or talked to her because he thought it might bother me when we were dating. I really appreciated that about him. Now that I am no longer dating him, I know he has the right to date her but I am so hurt. It makes me wonder if he liked her while we were together. I feel like all the progress I made is gone now because I just feel so hurt. I feel like the fact that we both already knew her makes it so much harder for me. If he was dating a random girl I didnt know, I would be a little hurt but I don't think I would really care that much. I don't why she bothers me so much. I don't even know her that well, she might even be the nicest girl in the world but for some reason, I feel like I just hate her. And it makes me want him back...

Whew, I know this is rough. A similar thing happened after my last relationship, so I understand the emotional conflict you're feeling. On the one hand, you know you can't be angry or upset because he's single and can date whoever he pleases now. But the fact that he actually IS dating someone now proves that he's definitely moved on ... and that's a hard pill to swallow. Plus, the girl is someone you know, which makes it feel even more insulting. I'm really sorry this is happening, because I know how upsetting it is.

The best advice I can give you is, find ways to distract yourself. Make weekend plans with friends and tell them his name is not allowed to be spoken (my friends and I still refer to my ex as "He Who Must Not Be Named" lol!). Don't allow yourself to compulsively check your ex's (or his new gf's) facebook page or tagged photos, because that will only make you more miserable. And of course come back to Bettyville whenever you're really upset! Or you can email me, if you're having a particularly rough day -- it's kwalk1217@gmail.com