how does someone get engaged to you then start acting like you dont exist. they dont make plans with you, seems unhappy, looks for ways to go do other things without you, never asks about you or your day. then says they are inadequate around you and cant make you happy. but doesnt call off the engagement or be honest when you ask questions. they just dont answer you. says they cant make you happy. leaves me confused. only will text wont pick up the phone and call.

I'd say you need to say all these things to this person. If they can't come up with a decent answer (e.g. I am not myself because my mother died/I've been diagnosed with a terminal illness/suffering depression etc) then tell them that if they want you to marry them they will need to change their behaviour. Give them a week. If they don't change, don't marry them.

Sounds like he is backing out. This message is for anyone tieing the knot with hesitation. Always remember if things aren't working right in the beginning, don't marry the guy. Marriage is not a bandaide to fixing everything. Marriage will just make the situation worse. Do the cons outweigh the pros? It's better to know this now then having to pay to get a divorce and not to mention money you've already forked out for the wedding/honeymoon. Think smart about all this before your life gets more complicated.

well it didnt work out. I called it off july 4th. we went back and forth even to a counselor 2 times with no progress. He made so many excuses and was so distance. He finally told me recently the reason he acted this way is SUPPOSEDLY a woman that knows me well told him i cheated on him. But he can not produce the woman's name, time, date, when and with who this happened. I believe it's lies. No one knows me that well to tell him. Ive never cheated ever. And i was with him or work. He had access to where my job was, apt, cell, computer. If i was a cheater he wouldnt have that. I believed he was lying about the source and making up excuses. His exes wives cheated and i believe he cant get past that and accept he did not fill my needs nor wants that's why i cut if off. Sounds better to his friends i cheated. I believe maybe his friends encouraged that lie. but i can not be with a liar. He had so many chances to be honest and come clean. Besides i found 2 condoms in his bag with were not for me when I ended it. He says they were old and ...... so its over. moving on. It hurts and makes me sad but glad I didnt marry him cause we would be divorced. Hope it was worth it to him.