Hello i just ended a 7 year relationship Sunday 9/23/12 with the father of my two children and my fiancee, who throughout the entire relationship had me on a emotional rollercoaster, he cheated on me repeatedly, stole money from me, and at times treatened to hit me and then turn he blame on me by telling me it was all my fault. Many times, I would try to leave the relationship and he would beg me not leave him that he will be better of course that lasted a few days, one time, he tried to take his life if i walked out the door. But the verbal abuse got worse and he started throwing things at me or punching at objects near me at one point he pushed me so hard i fell over.It was last year that we were actually getting along and things were calm because he was in jail for 4 months for hitting his uncle.I would visit him every saturday, put money on the phone account and send him money so he could buy food. I used my income tax to post his $3500 bail.When he was out he told me things were going to be different and that he couldnt wait to marry me and that he was going to make up for the time he was locked up, but i was always afraid of saying anything wrong or making sure i didnt do anything to make him angry.I started playing tennis in july and he started complaining that i was ignoring him that i was not giving him enough attention.The day that i ended the relationship he told me that all these years he was never happy,that he stayed for the children that he settled because he felt bad because i took care of him and the kids when he was unemployed (which was almost all the time). For 3 years i paid rent, the bills, bought the groceries, made the car payments and took us out. So, now that the relationship is over he tells me he wants to be friends and that after being with me he is not looking for another relationship, but i later found out he was seeing someone else, when i found out i flipped out and threw all his things into garbage bags and kicked him out. He called and apologized and said that i deserved so much better and that he was terrible to me and that i did not deserve all the pain he caused. Then he tried talking about how maybe we can be friends with benefits, when i said no because it would complicate things he was not very happy, but he understood and asked if he could stay long enough to find a new place to live and i the fool felt bad said it was ok.The next day i found out he brought this woman to house and took her with him to pick up the kids, i was so angry i said lots of mean things to him in text messages and finally threw all his stuff outside. When he came by to pick up his stuff he had a love bite on his neck, which just made it more painful for me to see.After everything this man has put me through why do i feel so lost without him, why do i feel like no one will ever want me? What if he is right no one is going to love me? Was everything he told me a lie he didnt love me, he didnt find me beautiful, he didnt find me sexy?