Wanna find your inner bombshell? Look no further. Stop right here.
Contrary to popular thought, the holidays aren’t nearly as cozy a time for couples as we’re led to believe: a recent study showed a spike in Facebook users changing their status to “single” in December more than any other time of year. So, what’s a girl to do if you find yourself solo this time of year? Here are three easy ways to celebrate on your own terms:
Choose your celebrations wisely. It’s perfectly okay to stay away from parties full of couples that just make you feel like crap. There’s nothing wrong with saying no when you know it will save your sanity. If you’re seriously in the hostess zone, consider throwing a holiday party of your own and only invite singles – no couples allowed… or invite couples, but tell them you’ll only let them in if they bring a single friend. It’s all about watering down the sea of “we’s.”
Give the ultimate gift.
Sure, your sadness is understandable if you’ve just gone through a breakup. No matter how much despair you might be in, though, somebody out there has it worse than you. Someone in the world could benefit from your empathy rather than your apathy. So, splurge on some toys and donate them to charity. Even better: donate your time to a non-profit organization (Meals on Wheels, Salvation Army) that needs extra hands this December. No plans on Christmas Day? Volunteer at a soup kitchen. And don’t just sayyou’ll do it… actually do it. The rewards are in the act itself, the perspective you’ll gain from it, and the smile you’ll put on someone else’s face.
Create your own traditions.
How’s this for a fresh perspective: you don’t need a mate to be happy this season. While everyone is focused on family traditions, why not create some of your own? Instead of foraging for a plus one because of societal pressures, why not dive into the relationship you already have that matter the most to you? Look at your friendships & relationships with family members and figure out how to be better at each one. How about taking new years resolutions to the next level? Use the holidays as a time to reflect on exactly where you are in your life, where you want to be & how you’re going to get there. Or, start living your passions. Dive headfirst into that novel you’ve been wanting to write, that trip you’ve wanted to take or whatever else you’ve been putting off, but are longing to do.
Do it now, as a holiday present to yourself.
The Beatles got it right when they created a whole song about getting by with a little help from friends.
Sometimes, even if we don’t want to admit it, we need to have people in place to lean on when we can’t quite stand up. Going through a breakup is definitely one of those times. A breakup is a major turning point, and the heartbreak that goes along with it can be intensely disorienting. That’s where your friends come in.
Here’s my two cents:
Go on, create your very own team of PK girls. You’ll be amazed at how often people are waiting and wanting to help, they just might not know what you need. Be good to these ladies, make them pillars of your plan to forget your ex and find your inner bombshell. It’ll be a lot of work for you and for them, so don’t forget to appreciate these awesome friends for being by your side.
It’s easy during the holidays to get wrapped up in everything we don’t have. There’s a lot of pressure to have the perfect partner, to make enough money to give the perfect gifts, to have perfect relationships with every single one of our family members. Guess what? No one is perfect and we all have ways we can grow. Still, the heart of the holidays should be about recognizing what you do have and continuing to find ways to appreciate that more.
So, this Thanksgiving, I’m taking a little different stance on what I want you to be thankful for and how I want you to show it.
Here’s my two cents:
To top it off, there’s an incredible effect when you make others feel loved and appreciated. You feel the same, if not more, in return. Give it a try. At some point this weekend pick up a pen and start writing. Then, come tell me all about it.
It’s the question every girl asks after a split: do you defriend the ex on facebook or not? The answer is simple.
If you and what’s-his-face broke up in real life, it’s time to breakup with him on the internet, too.
When I went through my last break-up, I tried to be a big girl and keep him as a friend. I had taken his number out of my phone- no more texting, no more calls. I had deleted old emails and erased voicemails. But, for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to defriend the boy on Facebook. It seemed harsh, unnecessary, mean. And, secretly, I couldn’t let go of having one tiny way to find out what he was up to and see if he was moving on better & faster than I was.
Not even two weeks after the split, I saw his status update on my phone. It was something about how he had an awesome night out on the town. It killed me. Sure, he could have been putting on a brave front. He could have been trying to distract himself. He could have had a really great time with his guy friends… but I imagined it differently. I imagined him surrounded by girls… or on a date. I imagined him totally over me and not at all upset about the break-up. To make things even more awesome, I had spent the night sitting at home in my PJ’s watching re-runs of Sex and the City.
I decided it was too painful to stay connected in any way. I broke it off with him on Facebook. Guess what? After the first two days of withdrawal, I felt like I was finally starting to let go. So… from a girl who’s been right where you are now, here’s my two cents:
If you’ve admitted it’s over and you’re moving on as a bombshell, you don’t need to be focused on what he’s doing. Instead, focus on the incredible little life you’re going to create all on your own.
Oh, time. You’re such a silly thing. Right after a breakup, you know exactly how to stand still and drive a girl crazy. Here are some of our best secrets on how to take back all that free time (and reclaim your life while you’re at it).
Sometimes Pink just nails it. Go on, bombshell. PREACH!
We kind of can’t stop listening to this lovely little jingle by Lily Allen. It’s, well, awesome. And hilarious. And weird. Check it out:
Sometimes it just feels good to be a little ridiculous. Sometimes it just feels good to shake your booty and have a little fun. We give you permission to do both this Monday, gangnam style.
Go on, hit the play button one more time. You know you want to…
Mediocrity is not better than nothing at all.
During a radio interview, one of the hosts asked me how to know when it’s time to call it quits on a relationship. I told him I actually think it’s pretty simple.
There’s one question you have to ask yourself: When you’re with your guy, is more of your time spent smiling & having fun or being frustrated & crying?
If the answer is that you’re usually frustrated & crying, then the relationship’s got issues. You need to think about whether or not that’s how you want to spend your life and consider that ending the relationship could make you happier in the long run. It’s not fun figuring out the person you love isn’t right for you (and vice versa). Knowing that you’re not in the right relationship and staying there anyway, though, is like a form of self-torture. Most likely, it’s better for both of you to throw in the towel and start fresh… so don’t think you’re doing HIM any favors by prolonging the inevitable.
I’ve seen countless girlfriends who wind up in situations that aren’t so obvious, too. Maybe he’s a really nice guy & you don’t fight much, but he keeps himself at arm’s length. Maybe he’s really great when you’re together, but then forgets to call when he says he will & misses dates because he’s “busy.” Maybe he says all the right things, but his actions just don’t add up. These are all examples of mediocrity at its finest. Ladies, don’t settle!
Being with a guy because no one better has come along is not cool. Being with a guy because he’s great in bed and fun to party with but won’t call you his “girlfriend” is not cool. Being with a guy who makes you cry even though he says he doesn’t want to hurt you is not cool. Settling for anything less than what you deserve is not cool.
Know what is cool? Having enough courage and self-respect to walk away from “good-enough.” Knowing that you can and will be better off on your own. Saying good-bye with your dignity in tact… because 99% of the time, mediocrity will not get better. And it’s not better than nothing at all.
“all my life/ i’ve tried/ to make everybody happy while I/ just hurt and hide/ waiting for someone to tell me/ it’s my turn to decide…”
know what? your time is NOW. be fearless & take the world by storm. no excuses.