Wanna find your inner bombshell? Look no further. Stop right here.
Music Monday ~ I’m a Survivor
- , 4/23/2012This Destiny’s Child song hardly needs an intro. You know it already, but it’s probably been awhile since you’ve been able to appreciate it.
Turn it up loud this time, because this is for you.
xx,
ellie
Men and Women can’t be friends… Sorry!
- , 4/19/2012I love a good argument. It’s kinda bad. If I’m having drinks with friends it’s especially bad. It usually starts with a statement and I’ll find a side of arguing and won’t budge…even if there’s plenty of gray area in which I could compromise. But no, arguing tends to be a sport for me: you either win or lose.
The point is I like to stir up a little controversy now and then. So hold on to your hats, because I have one to lay on ya…and I know at least half of you will disagree with me on this one.
An independent filmmaker went around Utah State asking people if men and women can be friends. After watching this video, I believe this guy is right: men and women can’t be just friends…
We’ve seen this answer to be true over and over in the movies: Friends with Benefits, No Strings Attached, Something Borrowed…the list goes on.
What do you think? What has your experience been with being just friends with guys (or even exes)?
P.S. (I actually concede to most things later…I’m really more open-minded than petty arguments, I promise).
pk2u,
Claire
Music Monday: flashback to the 80’s
- , 4/16/2012We’re taking you back to 1989, when Paula Abdul was all hot moves and lyrics. Damn, we wish we could dance like she did.
Maybe you can master the moves to her song,Cold Hearted. Okay, maybe get a kick out of trying in front of the mirror instead.
If you’re not inspired to get up and dance, she at least speaks for everyone when she says, “You deserve somebody better, girl.” Remember that.
xx,
ellie
Every so often Ellie answers questions that pop up from the Austin community & beyond through a lovely Website calledCultureMap. Today, she tackled this tough question:
Q: In the last month, two of my exes from the past eight years have contacted me either by phone or sending a message on Facebook (and we’re NOT Facebook friends). Is there something in the water? I’ve moved on (although I’m still single), and they are either in relationships or married.
How do I respond? I’m not interested in being friends or reconnecting, and I’m not even sure it’s healthy that they are contacting me. I don’t want to be rude, but I also understand they are in my past for a reason and I didn’t want them in my future. How do I get rid of them? I mean, I’d be mad if my man was contacting his ex out of the blue!
A: Girl, go with your gut on this one. If it feels yucky about the whole situation, it should.
To read the rest of what she has to say, click here.
And below, in the comments, we want to know if you’ve ever been faced with a similar situation. How’d you handle it?
xx
The PK Team
Music Monday ~ Walking with a Ghost
- , 4/9/2012Love love love the voices of Tegan and Sara. They’re an edgy, badass duo…and yes, they happen to be identical twins. When they sing Walking With a Ghost, it has a pretty simple statement:
No matter which way you go
No matter which way you stay
You’re out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind
Tegan And Sara – Walking With A Ghost from sergge on Vimeo.
xx
ellie
Words to Live by…
- , 4/6/2012Bingo.
xx
ellie
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Comment by Jari — April 14, 2012 @ 11:28 pm
I truly believe this.
Today we’re welcoming back guest blogger, Valeka Cruz. I knew I liked her when we started flirting on Twitter… then she wrote me an email, telling me about her badass blog, thanking me for doing what we’re doing & explaining how we helped her get through her own tough heartbreak. I loved that she had the confidence to simply ask if she could write a guest blog, so I couldn’t resist. My response? “Absolutely, bombshell!” & I’m so thrilled I said yes. Boy, does she have some crazy powerful things to say. Read on, ladies, and be inspired.
xx,
ellie
So you are fresh out of a relationship and everywhere you look it seems that the entire world is in love and paired up. You wonder if you will ever be part of a duo again. You feel like there is a sign pinned to your chest saying “Look at me. I’m single.” Let’s face it – no one likes being alone but there is a lot of value to be found in being single. I’ve always been a big advocate of using the “solo time” to enrich and heal our inner selves. The time outside of a relationship is the perfect opportunity to grow and mend any hurts we may have encountered during our last foray into the dating/relationship arena.
First and foremost, let’s get over the concept of the word “single” as being bad, vulgar, or embarrassing. Single does not mean “alone.” Single means that you are an individual and aren’t bound to someone else. It means that you are “unattached.” That’s not such a terrible thing if you stop and think about it. No, really. Think about it. It means that your time is yours to use in any way that you choose. You have the chance to take your life in any direction you want. There is a lot of power in that. It’s the power of singleness.
Too many people (male and female) float from relationship to relationship because they have a fear of being alone. That fear causes people to enter relationships just for the sake of having someone in their lives. There is a huge difference between being with someone for A) companionship or love and B) because you want a band-aid. Option B is not only unfair to the other person involved but also, in the long run, to yourself.
Allowing some time to mend and to reacquaint ourselves with who we are is priceless. It ensures that any lingering negatives have been tagged, bagged and tossed out. It helps us to be the best version of US that we can possibly be. Have you ever dated someone that was clearly not over their ex or that carried with them the ghosts of relationships past? Fun, wasn’t it? Be a bigger person and don’t do that to anyone else. Never settle and never date someone “just because.”
Sometimes we forget who we are when we are in a relationship. We lose sight of the dreams and goals we once had for a multitude of reasons. What better time than your singleness to reignite those dreams! Look at this as a new beginning for the YOU that you have been missing. Get your own thing going!
.JPG "Adventure ahead")
Singleness is a time to empower yourself. Go back to school. Hit the gym. Have new adventures. See and do new things. Set new goals for yourself. Try things that you never before thought possible. I have a very dear friend that used her singleness to do more running. She had always wanted to run a marathon so she took full advantage of her solo time and fulfilled her dream a couple of months ago. Bettering yourself and expanding your world gives you more to offer the next person that may be worthy of a relationship with you. This time is for YOU. Do the things you want to do.
Use this time to strengthen your relationships with family and friends. They were the ones that helped hold you up when you went through the hard times so give them the love and attention that they deserve. Relationships with men may come and go but the ones you have with your friends and family will always be there. Take care of them. Nurture them. Value them.
And never, ever forget to have FUN! Get out in the world and live life to the fullest. Go on a vacation with your girlfriends or your family to a place you have never been before. Take a pottery or painting class. Experience the great outdoors. A year ago I went canoeing for the first time with a friend who had the unpleasant experience of having a guy she went out with a few times drop out of sight. She tried to contact him but she never heard from him again and she was bummed. It prompted her to try something new so she invited me along for an afternoon of canoeing. We had a blast! We laughed the entire time and found a new past time to enjoy!
Don’t let the fear of being single rob you of the chance to be your authentic self. Your future is wide open and limitless. Allow your singleness to be a time of self-discovery, self-reliance, self-assuredness, and self-motivation. Show the world the strong, independent woman that you are!
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Comment by enrique — April 5, 2012 @ 3:07 pm
fantastically written, insightful and 100% true. love it!
It’s Music Monday with Walk Off the Earth
- , 4/2/20125 people, 2 sides of a story and 1 guitar. If you haven’t seen this YouTube sensation already, consider this our little Music Monday gift to you. You can see the original song by Gotye here.
Walk Off the Earth is the brilliant band behind this really cool cover of a refreshing take on the reality of emotions that come after heartbreak. It’s not often that a song lets you hear the two sides to a breakup story…and you don’t see 5 people play one guitar that often either. Watch and be amazed!
Walk off the Earth – Somebody that I used to know
xx
ellie
Comment by Shanna — April 19, 2012 @ 4:30 pm
I love the "point of awkwardness" term! It is so true. All I can say is that I was "just ...
Comment by Claire — April 19, 2012 @ 4:24 pm
Hmmm, Interesting theory, Cathy. It still kinda means that men and women can't have a full-on friendship. Even small emotions and ...
Comment by Lee — April 19, 2012 @ 2:00 pm
I totally agree with Cathy! If you are friends with a Guy its because there is something there that attracts ...
Comment by Cathy Benavides — April 19, 2012 @ 11:22 am
I disagree (mainly so Claire will have someone to argue with!). Well sort of...... men and women can totally be ...