Blogalicious

The VOICE, bombshell style!

We’re looking for the next PK Voice! No, you don’t have to get on stage and we don’t have Christina Aguilera as one of our judges. Our version is even more badass. We’re looking for bombshells far and wide to be the voice of PK by sharing on our oh-so popular blog. Have a great story of survival? Sweet! Do something lately that scared you? Perfect. Have an interesting perspective on the latest celeb gossip? Dish. Finding strength within you didn’t realize you had? Yes ma’am, we want to hear from you.

Here’s how it works:

• Choose a topic. Think about what you wanted to hear when going through a breakup. Here are some good examples: celeb splits, survival stories, sage advice, the ex files (reflections on past relationships), finding your inner bombshell, etc.
  
• Write up a post, 500 words minimum.
  
• Submit by emailing your post to claire@pinkkisses.com with the subject “PK Voice” by midnight on May 23rd.
  
• We will choose up to 5 winners, depending on the awesomeness of the entries
  
• Winners will receive these awesome prizes: pk tank, compact, koozie and your very own spot on the PK blog

Ready, set, go!

xx

Ellie  & the PK team

Guest Blogger Valeka explores the power of Singleness

Today we’re welcoming back guest blogger, Valeka Cruz. I knew I liked her when we started flirting on Twitter… then she wrote me an email, telling me about her badass blog, thanking me for doing what we’re doing & explaining how we helped her get through her own tough heartbreak. I loved that she had the confidence to simply ask if she could write a guest blog, so I couldn’t resist. My response? “Absolutely, bombshell!” & I’m so thrilled I said yes. Boy, does she have some crazy powerful things to say. Read on, ladies, and be inspired.

xx,

ellie

So you are fresh out of a relationship and everywhere you look it seems that the entire world is in love and paired up. You wonder if you will ever be part of a duo again. You feel like there is a sign pinned to your chest saying “Look at me. I’m single.” Let’s face it – no one likes being alone but there is a lot of value to be found in being single. I’ve always been a big advocate of using the “solo time” to enrich and heal our inner selves. The time outside of a relationship is the perfect opportunity to grow and mend any hurts we may have encountered during our last foray into the dating/relationship arena.

First and foremost, let’s get over the concept of the word “single” as being bad, vulgar, or embarrassing. Single does not mean “alone.” Single means that you are an individual and aren’t bound to someone else. It means that you are “unattached.” That’s not such a terrible thing if you stop and think about it. No, really. Think about it. It means that your time is yours to use in any way that you choose. You have the chance to take your life in any direction you want. There is a lot of power in that. It’s the power of singleness.

Too many people (male and female) float from relationship to relationship because they have a fear of being alone. That fear causes people to enter relationships just for the sake of having someone in their lives. There is a huge difference between being with someone for A) companionship or love and B) because you want a band-aid. Option B is not only unfair to the other person involved but also, in the long run, to yourself.

Allowing some time to mend and to reacquaint ourselves with who we are is priceless. It ensures that any lingering negatives have been tagged, bagged and tossed out. It helps us to be the best version of US that we can possibly be. Have you ever dated someone that was clearly not over their ex or that carried with them the ghosts of relationships past? Fun, wasn’t it? Be a bigger person and don’t do that to anyone else. Never settle and never date someone “just because.”

Sometimes we forget who we are when we are in a relationship. We lose sight of the dreams and goals we once had for a multitude of reasons. What better time than your singleness to reignite those dreams! Look at this as a new beginning for the YOU that you have been missing. Get your own thing going!

Singleness is a time to empower yourself. Go back to school. Hit the gym. Have new adventures. See and do new things. Set new goals for yourself. Try things that you never before thought possible. I have a very dear friend that used her singleness to do more running. She had always wanted to run a marathon so she took full advantage of her solo time and fulfilled her dream a couple of months ago. Bettering yourself and expanding your world gives you more to offer the next person that may be worthy of a relationship with you. This time is for YOU. Do the things you want to do.

Use this time to strengthen your relationships with family and friends. They were the ones that helped hold you up when you went through the hard times so give them the love and attention that they deserve. Relationships with men may come and go but the ones you have with your friends and family will always be there. Take care of them. Nurture them. Value them.

And never, ever forget to have FUN! Get out in the world and live life to the fullest. Go on a vacation with your girlfriends or your family to a place you have never been before. Take a pottery or painting class. Experience the great outdoors. A year ago I went canoeing for the first time with a friend who had the unpleasant experience of having a guy she went out with a few times drop out of sight. She tried to contact him but she never heard from him again and she was bummed. It prompted her to try something new so she invited me along for an afternoon of canoeing. We had a blast! We laughed the entire time and found a new past time to enjoy!

Don’t let the fear of being single rob you of the chance to be your authentic self. Your future is wide open and limitless. Allow your singleness to be a time of self-discovery, self-reliance, self-assuredness, and self-motivation. Show the world the strong, independent woman that you are!

Guest blogger Valeka proves sometimes “it’s not ME, it’s you!”

Attagirl Series: Go on, hit the refresh button!

attagirl series: going from a “we” to a “me”

Holy cow, we’ve been taken over!

Every so often, we hand over the reins & let one of YOU take over our blog.  There’s so much incredible conversation going on in Bettyville, our shiny new community, that we want to share it. If you have something to say about your journey toward becoming a bombshell in the wake of a breakup, we want to hear it! You never know; you might end up being a special guest right here on blog-a-licious.

Check out these inspiring words from one of our incredible members, Cathy. She’s a bundle of energy, hilarious and unapologetically unique. She recently shared her tale of recovery & triumph, proving that the road to being a bombshell is not always a straight one, but the journey is worth it:

I was with my ex for a little over 5.5 years. We lived together for 5 of those years and amassed a fortune in cats – 4 all together! We upgraded our home, I encouraged him to try for the career he really wanted which he got. He ended up basically supporting me since he made so much more money but it was never an issue. It was always us – we were best friends and we laughed and joked and just generally enjoyed out life together.

One day back in June, he woke me up from a nap to break up with me. In one sentence, I was no longer an us – I was a me. At first, we tried to be really civil. We still have 3 months on our lease together and he said I didn’t have to go until I was ready. That worked for about a week……..when he got a new girlfriend. In the space of 4 weeks, I had to move out, learn to budget and stand on my own two feet. It was the saddest and most frightening time of my life. I was convinced I would never be happy again.

Well it’s been 6 months and while it hasn’t been smooth sailing the whole time, I am very happy! My roommate and I are great friends, I love getting to do my own thing without worrying about someone waiting for me at home. It’s also given me a lot of perspective about how much our relationship was dictated by him. I am starting to date again, and I think I have gained a much deeper understanding of who I am and what I want in a partner. Hang on bombshells, it gets better…

Remember: Life’s too short to spend it looking backwards. As we close out 2011 in the next few weeks, take a little time to think about all that you’ve learned from your past & the incredible opportunities you have in your future.

xx

ellie

let’s do the time warp again

A year ago today, I broke up with someone with whom I’d just started getting kind of serious, and it ripped me apart a lot more than I thought it would.  I’ve written about it a smidge here and there over the past 12 months, but today, when I look back on that particular night when it ended, I have to shake my head at how absolutely broken I was over the whole thing.  In retrospect, it’s almost sort of silly, even though my feelings at the time were real.

There’s a day in the Betty Plan, toward the end, where we instruct you to write a letter to yourself.  The point is to think back to your lowest moment after your breakup and write words of encouragement to that past version of you, who could most definitely use a little reassurance that she’s going to be okay.  Today, exactly one year after my last breakup, I’ve got some news to share with the 2010 edition of myself.  Here goes:

Oh hi there.  This is you from the future. No, this isn’t a joke.  I’m writing you because… well, being from the future and all, I know what’s about to happen in your life.  I want to give you fair warning about the crap that’s about to go down… but to ease the burn, I also want to blow your mind a little.

Some kid is going to break your heart tonight.   You just had an amazing time in New York with him, but now, kaboom — it’s about to be over.  It sucks.  You’re going to spend the next few weeks kicking yourself, frustrated, wondering what the hell was wrong with you for thinking he might be there for the long haul.  But soon enough you’ll figure out what the problem was: he really was genuinely just a kid.  A nice kid, but a KID.  Seriously, Aim.  He’s got a lot of growing up to do, and you’ve known it from the start.

You’re always talking about how short life is, and that’s precisely why you’re going to call it off tonight, even though it’s the last thing you want to do.  But listen: you’re doing the right thing.  Sure, you’re going to regret it for a little while, and it’s going to hurt like hell — but eventually the regret will be replaced with perspective, which is a much nicer thing to have in the end.

In the meantime, let me give you a little preview of what’s about to happen (after tonight and the next few weeks, that is, because there’s no use in reliving that all over again.  Trust me.)

You’re going to do some cool stuff this year. You’re going to accomplish things in the next twelve months that you never thought you could.  Your emotional and intellectual limits are going to be tested, and you’re going to rise to the occasion.

If we’re being honest, you’re going to screw some things up, too, so brace yourself. I’d really love it if you wouldn’t have too much wine at Pedram’s party next week and drunk-text the ex like a total amateur even though you are the creative director for a site whose sole purpose it is to help girls get over breakups AND ENCOURAGE THEM NOT TO DO DUMB THINGS LIKE DRUNK TEXT THE EX.  But hey.  You’re only going to do it once, and then you’re going to smack yourself for it, and then you’re going to move on like you’ve got some sense. So, just… yeah.  Let’s keep right on going, because he doesn’t get to take up any more of your time than he already has.

Here’s a big one: you’re going to spend Christmas this year completely on your own. Before you freak out, though, let me assure you: it’s going to be a defining moment in your life, and the coolest part is, you’ll realize it as it’s happening.  You’ll start your new year off right and sail into a period of redefinition that you’ll someday look back on with fondness.  You’re strong.  You’re resilient.  And you’re about to prove it to yourself, yet again.

Five months from now, you’re finally going to learn to ride a bike.  It’s going to look ridiculous, and yes, there will be pictures (sorry).

Also five months from now, you’re going to get bangs… like, full-on bangs, all the way across your forehead.  You’re going to be excited about it for approximately a day and a half, and then… well, let’s never do that again.  Not as a blonde, anyway.

Nine months from now, in one of your more spaztastic moments, just when you think you couldn’t possibly look like more of an ass, someone’s going to tell you you’re adorable.  And let me tell you something: that someone is cuuuute.

Almost a year from today, you’re going to read an article from Mindy Kaling that is going to make you damn near pee yourself from laughing so hard… it’s about what it’s like to go from dating boys to dating actual, honest-to-god men.  Real ones, with mortgages and character and plans for the future, and the ability to tell you straight up when they think you’re wrong without being a jerk about it, not to mention the ability to tell you how amazing they think you are and mean it, without turning tail and running away afterward.  You deserve one of those. And I don’t want to ruin it for you since I know you love surprises, but let me just say this: I’m pretty sure you’re going to get one.

The most important thing you’re going to do this year, though, is write your face off.  It’s what you were put on this earth to do, and you know it.  So snap open that MacBook (I’ll be through with it in just a second and then it’s all yours again) and get crackin’.  We’ve got some cool-ass stuff to do, you and I.  So let’s do it.

-amy

can you feel the heat?

Hey bombshells!

I am so incredibly psyched to share this with you… it’s my shiny new sizzle reel fresh out of the editing suite. I’m not exactly sure how a sizzle reel got it’s name, but let’s pretend it’s because the compilation of media clippings is so damn hot it sizzzzzzzzzzzzles. So, does my sizzle reel live up to it’s name? You tell me.

Here’s the best part, though… I’m so incredibly grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to learn about so many awesome women over the last year (pssssst ~ I’m talking about you!), to be a part of your struggles and triumphs, and to (hopefully) make a difference in your lives by inspiring and encouraging each of you to make your future an amazing adventure & live your dreams a little more each day.

So, thank you.

And, without further ado, my sizzle reel:

pk2u,

Ellie

the perfect pair of boots

I love shoes. L-O-V-E them. There’s just something innate that I cannot deny… a lovely pair of shoes makes me smile like few other things on the planet. In the summer, my wardrobe revolves around high heels. When comes to fall, there’s nothing I get more excited about than slipping my toes into the perfect pair of boots, these gorgeous black knee-highs that can only be found in my closet after years of diligent hunting.

As I was getting revved up for the changing season, I stumbled on a quote I adore.

“Style isn’t skin deep, it’s soul deep.”

And it got me thinking.

When I was younger, fall was a time of fresh starts. New semesters meant so many new possibilities. And now that I’m well out of school and supposedly all grown up, fall seems to have lost it’s cleansing effect. We grown ups get so stuck in our patterns we barely notice the changes around us… and we get so comfortable in our lives that we forget things could be different. Maybe even better.

That’s why every time I see an absolutely incredible, gorgeous woman settling for less than she deserves in a relationship, my blood boils.  Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect. Nope, part of the reason I get so enraged is the reflection of my former self, staring me in the face. I used to make an art of pushing other people to change & carving out pieces of myself if need be, trying to force a relationship with someone who would never be able to fit.

See, I felt bad for giving up on a guy or a relationship. Despite any or all signs to the contrary, I believed that it could & would get better. I believed that if I believed enough for both of us, eventually, we’d figure it out. I wouldn’t just find my boots and start walkin’. I’d wait… and hope. At the time, I thought I was learning how to be patient. I believed walking away was admitting failure. It was all bullshit.

Know what I was waiting for? That elusive perfect pair of boots. I couldn’t just settle for any old reason to leave or decide I was giving up without a fight. Nope, I had to make sure these boots were actually made for walkin’. I had to know that there was no other option but for me to leave. I just hadn’t figured out that, no matter how much love exists, sometimes two people are simply not a perfect match.

Know what that meant? Wasting time on men who were never going to love me in the way that I deserved. Sometimes months, sometimes years. I wasted time looking for every reason to stay when I should have politely excused myself and found the nearest exit.

So, let me save you a lot of precious moments and intellectual debates with yourself. If you’re in a relationship where there are more tears than there is laughter, more jealousy than trust, more fear of commitment than fear of being alone, or more indifference than passion… it’s time to walk. Don’t waste one more second looking for that final disappointment, that last excuse, or that sign that he’s simply not the one. Put on any pair of badass shoes in your closet right this second (boots, heels, flats, his sneakers, whatever!) and start walkin’. Better yet, run.

pk2u,

ellie

ps ~ need a little inspiration? wondering if your boots are ready? pop on those headphones and listen to the original as Nancy Sinatra belts it out for Music Monday.

the “attagirl” series, part 3: courtney shares some wisdom with her daughter… & we share it with you

Holy cow, we’ve been taken over!

Once a month, we hand over the reins & let one of YOU take over our blog.  If you have something to say about your journey toward becoming a bombshell in the wake of a breakup, we want to hear it. Just shoot us an email at holla@pinkkisses.com telling us your story in 500 words or less. You never know; you might end up being a special guest right here on blog-a-licious.

Check out these inspiring words from Courtney, an adorable single mom and blogger who recently shared with us an amazing letter she wrote to her young daughter.  Take a look:

Today, Caroline, I said goodbye to a very dear friend. A very serious boyfriend of mine and I both decided to walk away from a relationship we both knew wasn’t right for our futures. I did this for many reasons, but a primary reason was because I want the world for you and me….and no matter how hard it is to change what I know and am already used to, it’s more important to me that I find someone that will give us the world, than it is to hurt temporally. You deserve NOTHING less than someone who loves you as his own. I deserve NOTHING less than someone who knows that they 100% want me in their future.

It’s so hard, but I am finding the “Good” in “Goodbye”. It hurts. Sometimes I want to scream, sometimes I want to cry, and sometimes I even want to laugh at how ridiculous I feel to even try to move on, but most importantly I remind myself that everyone moves on….No one ever died from a break up. I will continue to be strong and grow stronger. Just know, that you are my “sunshine” right now. It’s impossible for me to hurt as bad as I could, because even when everything feels dark and grey, you light up my life and never seize to shower me with your love and adoration. Thank you for saving me from my own mistakes.

I love you, Carebear.

~

…and we love reading phenomenal things like this from amazing girls like you.

pk2u ,

ellie & amy

guest blogger chiara turns the future sideways

We knew there was something special about blogger Chiara Mazzucco when she wrote us a while back, telling us about her badass blog and thanking us for doing what we’re doing.  But we didn’t know until we read the guest blog post she whipped up for us that she has special superpower: hindsight.  It’s a crazy powerful thing, and you’ll see more of it in her book, coming out later this year.  Meanwhile, put Gwen Stefani’s song “Cool” on in the background while you  read this & watch Chiara leap tall buildings in a single bound.

pk2u,

ellie

How My Ex Ended Up at My Wedding

By Chiara of ChiaraSays.com

There I stood, clammy hands and all, looking deep into the eyes of the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. My best friend was crying, his best friend was laughing and in the chaos of it all stood my ex boyfriend – grin on his face – snapping pictures with his camera. How the hell did we get here?

It was just 10 years ago that my heart had fallen victim to his charm. We dated for only a year… and it was the longest year of my life. We were obsessed with each other; our good days were great days and our bad days felt like Armageddon. He’d break my heart and send a plane over my house with a banner apologizing the next day. He had cheated on me twice and I had taken him back both times. He was the most suffocating drug addiction and I just couldn’t give him up.

Things got bad: he hurt me more and more and I just got crazier and crazier. I could hardly recognize myself. I knew he was a bad guy – consciously inflicting pain on me – yet I stayed up every night, wishing he would call with a sudden change of heart. I then found out he hadn’t just cheated on me twice… but had actually cheated on me with over ten girls (half of which WERE MY FRIENDS).

I looked into the mirror and said enough is enough. The next few months of my life were the hardest I ever had to live through. I didn’t really have friends to catch me because most of them had hooked up with my boyfriend… go figure. So I did it alone.

I started a blog and wrote through the heartache. I suffered as the relationship inevitably lingered, but I held strong. The world around me progressively darkened, and I could no longer see my own reflection but I knew that one day I was going to be okay again – I had to, right? I had seen the movies; I knew the cycle: girl meets boy, boy breaks girl’s heart, girl cries and eats ice cream, girl meets new, totally non douchey amazing guy and they live happily ever after.

And I remember waking up one day and seeing a ray of light shine through the window curtain. Cheesy? Totally. But I kid you not: I took a deep breath and just knew my life was starting over.

After him, I never took shit from a man again. I learned to stand up for myself, and knew what I deserved. I made men earn my love and devotion. I’m now happily married. I started my blog in the name of the reality slap I needed when I was heartbroken. I now devote my time to telling YOU that YOU’RE worth it.

Years later, I apologized for being crazy and he apologized for breaking my heart. We were, after all, absolutely unprepared for the emotions to come. He is now one my closest friends and I’d never change a thing.