Blogalicious

The Do’s and Don’ts of Staying Friends with an Ex

We’ve all been there. That fateful moment after a breakup where someone attempts to soften the blow by asking, “We can still be friends, right?” As much as we crave that comfort, there are plenty of reasons that attempting to stay friends is a bad idea. This week Ellie contributed her two cents on the issue, alongside other advice from experts,  to Heather Rinder at Her Campus, the online community for college women. Check out the article below:

After a break-up it’s easy to not only feel hurt and upset, but lonely too. You’ve spent a significant amount of time with a person who is suddenly no longer in your life, either in the same way, or at all. It’s natural to want to maintain a relationship with that person – calling them, finding ways to bump into them during the day, or planning “casual” lunch dates. Sometimes, though, this is exactly the opposite of what you need.

Her Campus spoke with relationship and break-up experts Dan Lier, of AskDanandMike.com, Ellie Scarborough, of PinkKisses.com, Dr. Ish. Major, of LittleWhiteWhys.com, and Dr. D. Ivan Young, author of Break up, Don’t Break Down for tips on when it’s OK to contact him, and when you have to just let go.

Here we list the do’s and don’ts of staying friends with an ex.

Don’ts:

Don’t enter into a “friendship” if you still feel romantic love.
Scarborough suggests a no-contact rule for at least 90 days after the break-up. “Instead of putting your energy into trying to be friends with the person you just broke up with, put that energy into other relationships like friends and family who you might have neglected a bit during the relationship,” she says.

Click here to read the full article

The VOICE, bombshell style!

We’re looking for the next PK Voice! No, you don’t have to get on stage and we don’t have Christina Aguilera as one of our judges. Our version is even more badass. We’re looking for bombshells far and wide to be the voice of PK by sharing on our oh-so popular blog. Have a great story of survival? Sweet! Do something lately that scared you? Perfect. Have an interesting perspective on the latest celeb gossip? Dish. Finding strength within you didn’t realize you had? Yes ma’am, we want to hear from you.

Here’s how it works:

• Choose a topic. Think about what you wanted to hear when going through a breakup. Here are some good examples: celeb splits, survival stories, sage advice, the ex files (reflections on past relationships), finding your inner bombshell, etc.
  
• Write up a post, 500 words minimum.
  
• Submit by emailing your post to claire@pinkkisses.com with the subject “PK Voice” by midnight on May 23rd.
  
• We will choose up to 5 winners, depending on the awesomeness of the entries
  
• Winners will receive these awesome prizes: pk tank, compact, koozie and your very own spot on the PK blog

Ready, set, go!

xx

Ellie  & the PK team

Men and Women can’t be friends… Sorry!

I love a good argument. It’s kinda bad. If I’m having drinks with friends it’s especially bad. It usually starts with a statement and I’ll find a side of arguing and won’t budge…even if there’s plenty of gray area in which I could compromise.  But no, arguing tends to be a sport for me: you either win or lose.

The point is I like to stir up a little controversy now and then. So hold on to your hats, because I have one to lay on ya…and I know at least half of you will disagree with me on this one.

An independent filmmaker went around Utah State asking people if men and women can be friends. After watching this video, I believe this guy is right: men and women can’t be just friends…

We’ve seen this answer to be true over and over in the movies: Friends with Benefits, No Strings Attached, Something Borrowed…the list goes on.

What do you think? What has your experience been with being just friends with guys (or even exes)?

P.S. (I actually concede to most things later…I’m really more open-minded than petty arguments, I promise).

pk2u,
Claire

What if you’re falling for your best friend’s ex?

Say you’re falling for your best friend’s ex. You love your best friend, but you’ve gotten signals from her ex that have developed into a little crush. Seems complicated, right?

Think again.

The answer to this dilemma couldn’t be more simple. Click here to see the advice I dished out for this exact situation. And, if you want more, here’s a video I created about knowing when a guy is off limits:

Read the full blog post here.

xx,

Ellie

{media bombshell is born}

Darling bombshells! I’m so excited to share a brand new chapter of the Bombshell story with all of you. It’s all about doing what you love the most and sharing it with passion & purpose.

This week, I launched Media Bombshell as a whole new project to help women find their inner bombshells.  Check out the video on my homepage that explains my unique view on why every person with a business, an opinion or a cause needs to be using a camera to share their story. And, find out why Media Bombshell is an extension of my bombshell brand here.

See, about a month after launching Pink Kisses, I appeared on the TODAY Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda and pretty much right after that I started getting asked by other entrepreneurs, friends and even complete strangers one very simply question:

How do you do so well on camera?

Since then, I’ve appeared in & on countless other media outlets. But perhaps what I love the most are my video blogs, where I get to speak directly from me to you, and share advice, insights and tools for getting over heartbreak. I always try to keep it simple. I try to be authentic, to share from the heart. And I try to make every video with a clear purpose in mind. That purpose? Serving the fabulous community of women that are so loyal and active here on Pink Kisses.

Now, I’m teaching the techniques I’ve used to build my bombshell business. My plan is to help women everywhere master their message and know their purpose. My goal is to help them find their voices and share their stories through the power of video & media. My hope is that I’ll also be able to help them find confidence & poise that is buried deep within… and help their bombshells shine.

So, this is my next adventure. What’s yours? I believe that we should all be chasing our dreams at full speed… and making sure we’re holding each other to it. Know what I’d love for you to do? Tell me exactly what dream you’re chasing, what giant leap you’re taking, in the space below this blog. Let’s continue creating the bombshell revolution right here. Right now.

xx

Ellie

It’s Music Monday & We’re Remembering Whitney

So often when we’re going through a breakup we naturally focus on songs that are written about getting over a guy or trashing his car or seeing him with someone new. It’s an easy way to let go of emotion. But! Here at Pink Kisses, we believe in shifting the focus onto your future instead of your past.

No one has done it better than Whitney Houston in this powerful song:

Thank you, Whitney, for reminding us that the greatest love starts within.

xx

Ellie

Ellie proves that heartbreak is the universal language

Wow! Pink Kisses got a ton of love leading up to this Valentine’s Day & we thought we’d share a few highlights with you bombshells today… seems that heartbreak is a universal language & being single on Valentine’s Day is a hot topic. See? You’re truly not alone!

~Ellie’s chosen to be profiled in an Entrepreneur video series on CultureMap~

Ellie Scarborough of Pink Kisses: Building bombshells one woman at a time

by Caitlin Ryan

and here’s a little snippet:

“I had to use my skills as a journalist to be the best spokesperson on the planet for this,” Scarborough says. “In order to maintain and build dominance in this field, I had to be out there talking about this and doing it better than anyone else who had any kind of similar product.”

That kind of tenacity landed PK on the pages of the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, The Huffington Post, The Washington Post and on countless national news segments.

read the full article

~ Ellie visited Fox for a fun interview with anchor Keri Bellacosa~

Valentine’s Day for Singles

check it: Valentine’s Day for Singles: MyFoxAUSTIN.com

~Ellie’s named one of the top relationship bloggers in Austin~

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Meet Austin’s top dating/relationship bloggers

by Shelly Seale

one of Ellie’s quotes from the piece:

“I’m a firm believer in not trying to go anywhere or do anything just to meet a date. Live your life, follow your passions and be open to finding something valuable in every single person who crosses your path. If you’re chasing your dreams with your eyes wide open, you’re bound to meet incredible people.”

check out the full article

Whew. As you can imagine, we’re a bit worn out over here… but loving that the media took time to go a little deeper this Valentine’s Day and tell stories that weren’t the typical lovey-dovey mumbo jumbo. What moved us the most was the incredible response from our awesome community and how you ladies really stepped up and let your bombshell-ness shine. It’s official, we have the best job on the planet!!

xx

the PK team

It’s Music Monday and Adele proves that Grammys are the best revenge

Hey bombshells!  My valentine to you comes in the form of a twofer from the outrageously talented Adele. Not only did Adele have an incredible return to the stage after voice surgery just four months ago, but she went on to win 6 Grammy’s, including Album of the Year for 21 (her second album).Did you know that her entire album was written as a way for her to heal from her heartbreak? Love how she left that guy in the dust!

Now, grab a tissue, take a listen to Someone Like You and let it all out.

When Adele stepped on stage last night, she sounded amazing singing one of her best know tunes, Rolling in the Deep. It also just happens to be the very song she wrote the morning after her breakup with her ex.  Last night, she also won Record of the Year thanks to that turning point in her life, so dry your tears and let the power of her voice fill you with the hope of all possibilities you have lying ahead.

In her acceptance speech, she even mentions the motivation behind her writing for the album about 40 seconds in…

See ladies? Adele is proof that when life hands you lemonade, you can turn it into a lovely lemondrop martini, 6 Grammys or anything else you choose.

xx

Ellie

Pk Press: Ellie dishes with Forbes…

We don’t like to brag, but this is just too juicy not to share… This morning, Ellie was featured on Forbes’ website.

Over the last two years, she’s been studying how women work around heartbreak– our emotions, our strengths, our vulnerabilities and our need for community through it all. Ellie’s take is that women are stronger than we give ourselves credit for & more resilient that we believe… and this is where her saying, “forget your ex & find your inner bombshell” came from.

So, if you’d like a peek inside Ellie’s brain about her perspective on building a community, click on. After all, you’re the very reason she’s devoted her life to building bombshells.

xx

the PK team

2012: Year of the Bombshell

bombshell: (n) a woman who is shockingly stunning, amazing, vibrant & delightfully dangerous

Two years ago, I made a decision. I was going to change my life dramatically.

It’s not that my life sucked… I was a TV news reporter working as a lead nightside reporter for the NBC station in Houston, Texas. I had moved up quickly over the seven years I’d been in news and had reached every single one of my professional goals. I was volunteering on the side, exploring my faith on and off and getting to spend quality time with my family more than once a year. But something was missing.

I wasn’t fulfilled and I wasn’t happy, yet I never would have admitted that at the time. It took a boy breaking my heart to put my whole life into perspective. And when he ended our relationship, I was devastated. I felt lost. I started asking all kinds of questions about who I was, who I wanted to be and what my true passions were.

Know what? The answers were surprising, shocking even. I discovered that, although I was talented at reporting, it wasn’t actually my passion. I learned that I didn’t love the tragedy I was reporting on and the emotional stress caused by getting close enough to so many victims in order for them to trust me. I loved the idea of changing people’s lives and finding truth that journalism offered, but I was ready for a new challenge. And that realization got me to examine the rest of my reality even more deeply.

I discovered I didn’t actually love red wine, even though all of my friends did & I felt like I should. I discovered I did love dressing up, but I really didn’t adore wearing suits everyday (even cute, ladylike suits). I discovered that I hadn’t actually asked myself all these questions in way too long. And the biggest discovery of all? I didn’t want to work in TV news anymore… instead, I wanted to help women all over the country (and the world) get heading in a bold new direction.

Over the next nine months I created what I like to call the bombshell code of conduct and I started living it. These five simple rules changed my life:

1. eliminate all the bullshit you’re doing just because you think you should
2. be honest with yourself and with others… even when it’s tough
3. shock the hell out of yourself (& everyone else) by doing what scares you
4. make one small change everyday to get closer to the bombshell you want to be
5. chase your dreams without apology… and never settle for less than awesome

Now, I live in a new city, launched a website called Pink Kisses (to help women get over heartbreak stronger & faster than ever before) and am about to launch my second project, I can taste my dreams and I’ve created an entirely new life for myself. I also met an incredible man along the way and we’re getting married in June. I am living my life as a bombshell.

I now realize the power of creating the change I want to see in my own life & can think of nothing more fulfilling than helping other women find their inner bombshells, too. I realize that, with a little encouragement and inspiration, women can do incredible things. I believe that if we each tap into our bombshell potential, we can create a dramatically different culture for women where the possibilities are endless and change is not scary, it’s exciting. Together we can create a bombshell revolution.

So, my goal is to make 2012 the Year of the Bombshell. I want us all to be sensationally shocking, vibrant, amazing & delightfully dangerous each day of 2012 and for the rest of our lives. I want us to hold each other accountable. I want us not to be afraid of failure, but only to fear risking nothing. I want us to recognize that we can’t wait for change to happen to us, we have to create it within ourselves.

You with me?